yes yes thank u under the cut
im very accepting i have friends from all 3 hogwarts houses that arent my own
can we just take a moment to imagine little cute six-year-old hermione reading matilda
and peering into this book about a smart, bookish girl who could move things with her mind
and then can you imagine her concentrating very hard on the books on the bookshelf and slowly, slowly, getting them to move
OH MY GOD
Things Harry Potter Actors say
im not even a slytherin, im a ravenclaw, but i can’t tell you how much i hate house sterotypses
Don’t get me wrong, I love Harry Potter, but this is RIDICULOUS. No, you are not part of any of the houses. It is a work of FICTION. Next you’re gonna start saying yeah, I fought off a dementor last night. You effing weirdos.
THEY ARE NOT REAL!
we found the muggle guys
i’ll get the memory charm going
damnit, I thought we had a protection spell to keep them out.
the thing about the hogwarts houses is that most fans of this series literally grew up with it, and thus they were the first clues we had to establishing identities. associating yourself with a certain house made kids who were only just beginning to find their ways in the world feel like yes, they had a place they belonged, a place where the values they thought most important were cherished and upheld.
we’re all quite aware that harry potter is a work of fiction, and we’re more than aware that people cannot be boxed in to four separate houses. but now, the hogwarts houses are less a ‘oh harry potter is real here’s my wand’ and more a ‘these are my core values and how i perceive the world’. it’s a personality analysis, and it should take you years to figure out which house you identify with the most.
some people start out thinking they’re gryffindors or ravenclaws, and grow up and realize they’re actually slytherins and hufflepuffs. it prompts people to really look into their personalities and sense of self in order to figure out what is really important to them and how they look at reality. i thought i was a hufflepuff all through childhood, despite it never feeling right — now that i’m older, i’m much, much more comfortable with my identity as a ravenclaw.
it’s our way of keeping our love for the harry potter fandom strong while also developing a sense of community. all fandoms with factions do this: game of thrones, avatar: the last airbender, even homestuck to a certain extent.
as a last note: incidentally, when rowling developed the dementors as a plot device she used them as a physical manifestation of depression. that’s why chocolate works so well on them, and why it is quite possible for someone to have fought off a dementor last night.
#IT’S A HOGWARTS AU WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO TAKE MUGGLE STUDIES FIRST YEAR TO LEARN ABOUT ACCEPTANCE AND SOMETIMES THEY TAKE BREAKS AND COLOR AND STUFF AND DRACO IS /BORED/ BECAUSE THEY DON’T MOVE AND WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS A /CRAYOLA/? AND THEN HE DRAWS HIS FAMILY EXCEPT THEY ALL KIND OF LOOK LIKE BLOND BOBS AND SOMEONE (HARRY) TELLS HIM THAT HE’S NOT COLORING INSIDE HIS LINES CORRECTLY AND DRACO GLARES AT HIM AND SAYS THAT ACTUALLY /SCARFACE/ HE DOES NOT TAKE /ORDERS/ FROM /LINES/ AND HARRY SAYS ‘BUT THAT’S THE RULE’ AND DRACO SNEERS /JUST WAIT TIL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS THEN WE’LL SEE HOW IMPORTANT YOUR BLOODY LINES ARE/
#picturing little draco imperiously shouting WHAT IS A CRAYOLA and harry quickly is like crayola’s terrible here use roseart instead and dean thomas hides a grin and draco throws his box of crayons at harry’s head and says DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but he picks up a roseart crayon because it’s time to get started on his pièce de résistance which he calls ‘die potter die’ and features no less than seventeen ways in which he’d like harry to meet his end one of which involves hary tripping over his own feet into a vat of acid except roseart is shit everyone knows that WHAT IS THIS draco howls indignantly PROFESSOR POTTER IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY MASTERPIECE TELL HIM TO GIVE ME THE CRAYOLA and harry’s like fine malfoy look we can share and draco’s like I DON’T THINK SO POTTER YOU’VE ALREADY TRIED TO SABOTAGE ME ONCE I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR DEVILISH WILES
#THE POTTER CHILD IS EVERYTHING YOU SAID HE WOULD BE AND WORSE FATHER WAX CRAYONS I TELL YOU HE WOULD HAVE ME USE WAX CRAYONS IT’S UNTHINKABLE FATHER IT’S POSITIVELY UNACCEPTABLE DON’T YOU THINK #draco writes violently on a sheet of purple construction paper #lucius weeps when he reads it then sits in his study looking consumptive and tragic until narcissa brings him a stiff drink
and then draco becomes the greatest artist in britain
can you tell we haven’t had a new book in a while
……………………..Perhaps one or two.
snorting through my sobs
you’re twelve. no one cares about a twelve-year-old enough to be archenemies with them except maybe voldemort but then again he’s also the man who agreed to live on the back of other man’s head.
weird notion of “most powerful wizardry”, if you ask me.
and really, potter, are you actually that dense
can’t you see it written all across malfoy’s unhumanly large forehead that he just wants to be bffs with you
are you sure you’ve never banged your head on the ceiling of that stupid cupboard because i’m thinking brain damage here, sir
#omg i love that the over-inflated self importance applies to both of them like draco would TOTALLY consider himself potter’s archnemesis because it’s better than being his nobody meanwhile tom riddle is crying his deformed spirit baby self to sleep at night and anytime in between because what is he chopped liver? so sad how this changes after GOF like as soon as old voldermortz has a body again harry’s like SORRY MALFOY BIGGER PROBLEMS YOU UNDERSTAND and draco is like I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND ugh the worst kind of transgression I THOUGHT THIS ARCHRIVALRY MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU POTTER and sirius dies and voldy truly becomes the sole recipient of harry’s rage I SAID I WAS BUSY MALFOY!!!!!! but malfoy’s dedicated antagonism is still this lovely comforting white noise throughout it all until it ISN’T and despite everything else he has to worry about harry’s like YOU GUYS I THINK MALFOY IS UP TO SOMETHING…. SOMETHING EVIL because obviously anything that distracts draco from their archrivalry is evil (see: voldemort in harry’s case) except draco doesn’t have time for HIM anymore and oh ho ho the tables turn and harry stays up late watching draco on the marauder’s map and thinking about his hair and basically voldemort is just the worst kind of cockblock